Aren’t beliefs frequently the result of ignorance and fantasy? Consider the wonderful view of the world that young souls have when they are at the peak of their innocence when they are surrounded by love and filled with joy. Listen to their laughter. Dreams, like a laughing gas, expand in a vacuum of knowledge and bring the blindest, purest ecstasy.
As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss because it frees us from the mental constraints connected with knowledge (which reveals the limits of reality and hence the impossibility of our imaginations). It is the ultimate playground for the mind, where it may build castles in the air, create a wonderland, and live happily in this kingdom of reverie. It facilitates the reign of error by allowing us to believe whatever we want. Until we find evidence to the contrary, anything desirable is realizable, if not actual. Santa Claus dies of old age when we are no longer so youthful, so green, that a big story might easily fool us.
In reality, no matter how wise we are, we are still vulnerable. We have spontaneous imaginations about the world below, which is never completely known, or the beyond, which is unknowable. We are always tempted to assume that our health, relationships, careers, or any other aspect of our lives will be excellent, or that our death will not be an end, but rather a transition from this world to a paradisal hereafter. This temptation is great for many people when they come across a compelling fortuneteller or spiritual leader who preaches this unsubstantiated notion. Our belief is the result of ignorance, illusion, and faith.
The deceptive emotion they frequently have toward attractive people of the opposite sex whom they know little is an example of self-deception that affects young idealists and betrays their warm-blooded aspiration for perfect love. By perfect love, I mean complete and long-lasting correspondence between two lovers on all levels: physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual. As the words “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” suggest, it implies a high degree of friendship. While lust is present, it is transcended and transfigured.
Pop songs are popular vehicles for this ideal, which appeals to many young people. I’m thinking specifically of young males, who are prone to fantasizing about gorgeous young ladies and falling madly in love with them, or rather a fanciful vision of them. This rashness is typical of their impetuous and reckless youth. It only takes a few smiles and nods, a few kind words of agreement, to make these young guys believe they’ve discovered their soul mate, as they pour out their inner selves their sense of what is good, real, right, or sacred. With a few lucky signals, they mistake the beautiful young women for dream girls and fall in love with them! In truth, there were a few deceptive indicators. Every charm conceals a cause for concern.
If society is a treatment for individual constraints in the quest for survival and happiness (an imperfect cure, to be sure, with side effects), it is also a difficult pill to swallow. Civility is a smooth sugar covering that makes swallowing easier. Thank you to those who express their dissatisfaction delicately and garnish it with praise and encouragement. There will be no nagging or gagging. Sometimes civility trumps honesty, resulting in well-meaning or self-serving duplicity. It becomes servility as a result of a combination of kindness and weakness or as a result of pure selfishness. Some people are duped in some way, kept in the dark, when they could be living wisely, in the light of knowledge. They are denied the opportunity to imagine their genuine condition.
Young males, like the fantasizers I mentioned before, are frequently enticed by the social graces of attractive young women. The poor fish takes the hook and soon realizes, like many others in the same situation, that they have made a mistake. The dream girls were regular maidens or vixens who, at first, behaved and spoke infinitely sweetly before revealing their nasty temper.
An extended intimacy might reveal a couple’s actual nature. When seduction takes precedence above all other considerations, it invariably strips relationships of their smooth aspect. Like the outer layers of an onion, this appearance is superficial and deceiving. Conflicts develop once it is eliminated, following a series of modifications that signaled a progressive return to naturalness. The truth is revealed, and tears are shed.
At this point, many young fantasizers separate from their lovers. They start another relationship until they are disillusioned, then they start another relationship, and so on. They do the same thing in other aspects of life, beginning something with high expectations and then abandoning it when the first challenges arise. They never settle for anything less than perfection, yet they never build anything worth mentioning.
After a lot of disappointments, some of these fantasizers give up and become bold realists. Their fortitude sets them apart from other dissatisfied souls who give up hope in order to succumb to lethargy with a clear conscience. These defeatists confuse their attitude with realism and accept nullity or mediocrity rather than fighting for excellence, which, unlike perfection, is achievable. Humans, like fish, are only in their element while imagining, in their opinion. In reality, adaptable humans are more similar to frogs than to fish. They can return to earth without dying of frustration, and much better, with the opportunity to live happily ever after, thanks to a combination of struggle and resignation that brings joy and tranquility.
Realists, who are brave, recognize and accept the circumstances and limitations of happiness. They value it even more because it is expensive and will be lost sooner or later. They also recognize that, while one can live a fickle existence for a while, one must eventually commit and apply oneself to a specific relationship, study, or vocation, despite defects and problems, if one intends to achieve something noteworthy. Nothing good can come from a constant search for better, which continuously sacrifices one thing for another.